


Luminosity

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 11:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2426933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily didn’t fool herself into thinking they were suddenly friends, but a barrier had been broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Luminosity

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the **blackout** prompt.

“Hotch!”

 

The startled way she screamed his name sent shivers up his spine. He reached blindly for her as darkness enveloped them. The elevator shook and then dropped; stopping so abruptly Hotch almost fell over.

 

“Emily?” her first name tumbled off his lips with little effort though he rarely used it. His hands reached out again but touched nothing. It was pitch black; Hotch could hear her breathing but couldn’t see a thing. “Emily?”

 

“I'm here.” She barely whispered.

 

“Are you alright? Are you injured?”

 

“I don’t think so. I'm…”

 

Her voice was quite shaky. Hotch didn’t want to believe it but thought she might be scared. Petrified actually, so he took a few steps forward. A few more steps and he bumped her shoulder. His arms moved around her.

 

“Its OK Emily.”

 

“It’s not OK. Its nine thirty on a Friday night and my stupid inability to get a life will finally be the death of me. They will find us in here Monday morning after we have run out of air and just shake their heads.  _Poor Emily Prentiss_ , they’ll say, _she was such a good FBI Agent_. They won't have anything else to say.”

 

Hotch’s initial thought, and it was fleeting, was to laugh. She sounded completely paranoid and out of control, an almost scripted reaction to their situation. She did not sound anything like the capable, confident woman he knew. Except he could feel her trembling in his arms. Underneath her rant, there truly was fear. Hell, they all feared something…it looked like he was face to face with Emily Prentiss’. One could not fight without weaponry so with an arm still around Emily, the Unit Chief felt around in his shoulder bag until he found it. It wasn’t much light, pocket sized, but charged to last for 48 hours.

 

“I'm going to try the phone.” He said, gently placing Emily’s back against the wall and telling her not to move.

 

“It’s not going to work. Obviously you have never seen a scary movie.”

 

“We are not in a scary movie, Prentiss.” Just like that, Hotch was back to formalities.

 

“Speak for yourself.” She muttered, running her hand over her face. She was already sweating…it was only a matter of time before her airways constricted.

 

Hotch picked up the phone but heard nothing. Damn. Grabbing his Blackberry from his hip, he hoped in vain for a signal. The elevators had always been bad for reception but since 9/11, they were impossible. All efforts to make them safe might lead to them being stuck there all weekend. OK, it was time for the director to yell cut.

 

“Well?” Emily pressed.

 

“It doesn’t work.”

 

“Oh my God.”

 

“Calm down.” he was back in front of her, hands on her shoulders. “We are going to be fine.”

 

“No one is going to pay attention to a broken elevator over the weekend, Hotch.” She reasoned.

 

“Of course they will. Its not that late…I am sure there are other people in the building. You know what though; there is a chance we can be in here for a few hours.”

 

“Don’t say that.”

 

“It’s better to remain rational and truthful. I have three energy bars and a bottle of water in my bag. You always carry a bottle of Diet Coke and little snacks in yours. If you want more air at any time, I can try to open the hatch. Alright?”

 

Emily gave a small nod but did not speak. Hotch put his bag on the floor. He took off his coat, folded it over and put it on the floor. Taking off his suit jacket, he sat down with his back to the wall. Hotch pulled his knees up and apart, patting the coat between them.

 

“Sit down.” he said.

 

“There?”

 

“Yes. We might be here awhile. I mean, you're welcome to stand but it’s not rational. C'mon Emily.”

 

She sighed, pulling her messenger bag over her head. She placed it beside Hotch’s bag. Her coat went down on the floor before she sat Indian style between his legs. She shivered when his hands fell on her shoulders, slowly sliding up and down her arms.

 

“Take a few deep breaths; in through your nose and out of your mouth. Close your eyes.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I am turning off the flashlight. It has a decent battery life but we might want to save it.”

 

“I wish you wouldn’t.”

 

“You are not going to notice.” Hotch leaned close to her ear, his breath warm on her neck. “Close your eyes, Emily.”

 

She did what he said and tried to relax. Hotch kept rubbing her shoulders and arms; soon Emily’s heartbeat, pulse and breathing returned to normal. It was so weird sitting on the floor of a broken elevator with her boss but it was much better than being alone. As much as she liked her other teammates she was not sure anyone other than Hotch could handle this.

 

“I acted poorly.” She said after a long silence. A part of her wanted to relax but the only thing behind her was Hotch’s hard body. That kept her alert.

 

“When?”

 

“Earlier.”

 

“We all have fears, we’re human. It does not show weakness if you are concerned about that. I know how plucky you are, Prentiss.”

 

“Plucky,” she murmured. “What is your fear?”

 

“Incapacitation. I know its crazy, though it could happen at any time. A car accident, shooting, or falling down a flight of stairs...I could lose my abilities at any time. It scares the hell out of me.”

 

“How much do you think about that?” Emily turned her head though she could not see him. She could smell him though, his skin was slightly dew kissed.

 

Hotch shuddered when her long hair brushed his face. They were sitting so close; the powdery light perfume she frequently wore tickled his nose. He always wondered what it was but never asked.

 

“Sometimes we can't help letting our worse case scenarios get the best of us.”

 

“Especially when we are smack in the middle of them.”

 

“Bridges and tunnels, huh?” Hotch laughed a bit and squeezed her shoulders.

 

“Being trapped in this elevator is not my greatest fear.”

 

“Is it the dark?”

 

“No.” Emily shook her head.

 

“What then? I told you mine, Agent Prentiss, reciprocity is only fair.”

 

“It’s loss of control. It’s not being able to use my intelligent or skill to change a circumstance. To feel as if nothing I do will affect the outcome. That’s my greatest fear.”

 

Hotch didn’t know what to say. He could feel the chill slip into the tiny space between them and it caused him to shiver. She felt that she had revealed too much…he should not have pushed. Now she would shut down and make however long they would be in there quite uncomfortable. He took a deep breath, suddenly massaging the nape of her neck. Emily gasped but soon he felt her body relaxing again.

 

“Lean back,” he whispered. “Lean into me.”

 

At that point, he could have told her to jump from a bridge and she would have seriously considered it. He had the most amazing hands, like silk across her skin. Her nerves were on fire and Emily knew it had nothing to do with fear. Well there was some fear…fear that the next time she opened her mouth, a moan would escape. She leaned on him, his chest hard against her back. 

 

She could feel his heartbeat on her shoulder blade. It was a bit faster than normal but since Emily never felt Hotch’s heartbeat, it could be normal for him. It didn’t seem plausible that he was feeling some of the same things she was feeling right now. She was actually feeling horny. As Garcia thought of baby pandas when the crime scene photos were too much, Emily thought of her evil Belarusian chess instructor when the horny happened at inopportune times.

 

“You want to get the hell out of here?” his voice was raspy in her ear.

 

“Don’t even joke.”

 

“I'm not. It’s a yes or no question.”

 

“Yes.” Emily breathed.

 

“I hoped you would say that.”

 

Emily could feel Hotch smile more than she could see it. The elevator was still dark even with her eyes adjusted as much as they could be. She wished she could see him; no doubt he was handsome. If only he could be this way when the lights were on and not cover himself with that heavy sheet of armor. It was hard sometimes not to let her affection for Hotch show.

 

In the beginning, things were prickly at best. That all changed the night he showed up at her condo…the night his whole life fell apart without his knowledge. Emily didn’t fool herself into thinking they were suddenly friends but a barrier had been broken. The Unit Chief saw his share of trials and triumphs since Haley left him. Emily tried to show that she could be a good friend but they were so similar. She knew it would take more work than that. It always seemed when she was ready to walk away from a bolted door, it would crack a bit and show a glimpse of the glorious light inside.

 

“You have been all over the world. Tell me your favorite place. I want you to take me somewhere beautiful, where you felt free. Take me to the place you return to when you're dreaming.”

 

“Bonn.” She whispered.

 

“Take me there.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Please.”

 

“We lived on the water, daddy loves the water. A three-bedroom family house that was slightly cluttered and always dusty. It was so homey without the frivolous trappings. It wasn’t cold and impersonal, filled with staff like my mother’s house in Moscow. It was just me, daddy, Nat and Solange. She was my au pair, I was only almost 14 and she was 19. I was in awe of her. We would ride through the city streets and back country roads on the back of her rusty motorcycle. We kept bottled water under the bucket seat for when the engine overheated.

 

“The world was mine and I wanted to experience everything. I ran through the grass, letting the blades poke my toes. I would roll in it letting my arms get tickled and laughing. There was so much laughter. Solange and I would have picnic lunches; spend long afternoons taking in the scenery and talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up. She introduced me to The Smiths on vinyl and changed my life.

 

“We would haunt the shops in the city square in the late afternoons. There was no security, no bodyguards, and no fears. I never remember sleeping.” Emily laughed. “We would sing, with Nat in the kitchen making dinner. Mickey… _oh Mickey what a pity you don’t understand, you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand_. It was the first time in my life I truly experienced fun.

 

“Solange was my first real friend. I was painfully shy when I was a little girl. We traveled so much for my parents’ work that mother had my sister Julia and I privately tutored. I never attended school so I didn’t know how to interact with other kids. I was reading Tolstoy and they were skimming _Tiger Beat_. I didn’t go to regular school until high school.”

 

“How did your mother feel about you being thrust into public school?” Hotch’s question broke through the clouds of her happy memories.

 

“What?” Emily had not thought of Bonn in years. Why didn’t she go back to that good place more often?

 

“Washington, DC has the best private schools in the nation outside of the New England boarding school system.”

 

“She was upset. I was an Ambassador’s daughter…two Ambassadors actually. My maternal grandparents were poor but my mother went to the Brook Hill School for Girls and received a full scholarship to Ole Miss. They spent every dime they had to make sure that Liddy had the world laid in front of her. She did not want her child going backward, she said. My father ignored her and followed his gut. I owe him so much for that experience.”

 

“You don’t owe him a thing. That’s what dads do; that’s what they are supposed to do. We love our kids unconditionally. It’s how you should love everyone.” His finger stroked the nape of her neck.

 

“My mother loves me; she loves me the best way she knows how. You know when our parents were coming up you had to get married. It was the acceptable thing to do. And while my mother was encouraged to follow her political dreams, she felt pressure to succumb to society’s idea of how women should act. It was a tough dichotomy. She taught me to be strong, brave, and fierce. She also taught me to suck it up, don’t let the cracks show, don’t even show yourself.”

 

They were quiet for a while. Emily leaned her head back on Hotch’s shoulder and just breathed. She didn’t know if telling him all of that was the right idea but she felt lighter. Emily still didn’t have many close friends; she wasn’t sure she had any. She had her sister, who was her best friend. 

 

Real life and living in different cities kept them apart so often. JJ, Penelope, and even Jordan Todd were quickly becoming like sisters to her. She loved drinking with the girls or dragging JJ and Henry out for shopping. She and Jordan would be out on the road, smoking cloves in some hotel parking lot reminiscing over songs and lost loves. Penelope took her to the movies or would come over to her condo and make what Emily called weird California food that she never failed to enjoy. 

 

The boys were special too. She could make Reid laugh and always tried to throw him questions that it would take at least a few extra minutes to answer. Morgan was quickly becoming like her male other half, a geek trapped inside a beautiful body. The difference was Morgan knew what to do with his. In many ways Emily could still be that gawky 14-year-old girl running through the parks of West Germany.

 

“My mother is bipolar.” Hotch said. “One moment she would hug me close and the next slap me across my mouth. I got used to it after a while. It was learning to gauge her moods from a very early age that gave me the skills I needed to be a profiler. She is a beautiful, intelligent, loving woman. It wasn’t her fault she was sick. Back then, they didn’t have medication for depression and such. She is much better now, balanced and happy. She always wants to make up for things that happened in the past.”

 

“You're estranged?” Emily asked.

 

“I don't know. That’s a really bad answer, isn’t it?”

 

“A little bit. Family isn’t easy.”

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

“I'm hungry.”

 

“Do you want an energy bar?” Hotch asked.

 

“Hell no. I want a steak….filet mignon, or maybe porterhouse. I want it medium well; so tender I can cut it with a fork. I will take it down with a glass of red wine while Cassandra Wilson, no Anita Baker, croons on the stereo.”

 

“You like jazz?”

 

“Oh yeah, that’s all Nat’s fault.”

 

“That’s your stepmother?”

 

“Mmm hmm. She is a huge jazz fan. She played Charlie Parker records all the time and she and my father used to dance. They probably still dance with each other. Mmm, I want steak Hotch. I want to get out of this God forsaken elevator and eat steak. I want to be tipsy, my stomach full, and curl up under my favorite comforter to sleep.”

 

“I have a porterhouse steak marinating in my fridge.” He said.

 

“Shut up.” She was doing her best to look at him again.

 

“Yeah. I have two fat potatoes and a bottle of Chateau Montelena Cabernet Sauvignon.”

 

“Mmm, you are speaking my language…don't stop now. Wait, why do you need to eat two potatoes? Won't the steak be enough?”

 

“One for each of us.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Now I don’t have Anita Baker but I have a kinda scratchy Cassandra Wilson CD made from vinyl that Jason gave me. He said it would help calm my nerves. It does sometimes.  I also have a very warm comforter.”

 

“Hotch…”

 

His mouth captured hers in the softest kiss Emily ever felt in her life. She pushed her back further against him, deepening the kiss. Her body turned, almost on its own so that her back rested on his one leg and her legs slid under his other. She put her arms around him and that moan finally came. Hotch made a whimpering noise as his fingers moved easily through her hair. When they finally came apart, Emily bit her lip. She exhaled as he stroked her cheek. He leaned in for another kiss.

 

One by one, the fluorescent bulbs in the elevator lit up. They looked at each other.

 

“If I would have known that all I needed to do was kiss you to get the lights back on,” Emily said. “I would have done it from the start.”

 

The elevator jolted, causing them to hold tighter to each other. It shook, groaned and then came back to life.

 

“We’re moving.” Hotch said.

 

“Yeah.”

 

She stood first, stretching out her legs before quickly grabbing her coat and putting it on. Her messenger bag was back over her head before Hotch was even up from the floor. He worked the kinks out too and was quite surprised to see Emily fly out of the open doors as soon as they hit the lobby. Confused, it made him pause for a moment. She was already at the desk signing out when they got there.

 

“We were just in car two.” He said to the security guard at the desk. “It was stuck between floors. You might want to have it serviced.”

 

“We just did Agent Hotchner. We didn’t realize anyone was on it, I am so sorry.”

 

“The telephone needs to be serviced too. Goodnight.” 

 

Hotch quickly signed out and pushed through the doors. He looked frantically around the parking lot as the early winter winds cut at his face. She was hustling to her car; he ran to catch up.

 

“Emily! Emily, wait.”

 

She stopped cold and turned around, not looking at him but at the ground. He stopped in front of her.

 

“Why did you run away?”

 

“It’s been a long night. I want go home.”

 

“You said you were hungry. There is a steak in my refrigerator, that wasn’t just a story.”

 

“I don't care about steak.” She replied.

 

Hotch put his hands on her shoulders and she felt the heat through her heavy wool coat.

 

“Then how about a bottle of wine, some jazz, and that comforter?”

 

“Hotch, are you propositioning me?”

 

“You know how I said incapacitation was my greatest fear?”

 

“Yes.” Emily nodded.

 

“Taking a risk comes pretty close. I can leap tall buildings in a single bound when it comes to this damn job but personally…”

 

“Join the club.”

 

“It’s one that I'm ready to leave. Come home with me.”

 

“And then what?”

 

Hotch smiled and Emily rolled her eyes.

 

“I don’t mean that, and what kind of girl do I look like?”

 

“One who sometimes likes to run through grass in her bare feet. Come home with me; we’ll talk over wine…we’ll talk all night. I want to talk about the people we are, not profiles, bodies, and sociopaths.”

 

“I’ll follow in my car.” She relented.

 

“OK.” he was smiling again.

 

Emily filed the look away in her memory. She already had a few there and this one was just as wonderful. He started to walk away and she stopped him.

 

“Thank you.” Emily said.

 

“For what?”

 

“Just being there. I held that elevator for you; what if I wouldn’t have?”

 

“We’ll talk about that in a little while. Its cold, lets go someplace warm.”

 

Hotch held out his hand and Emily left her car in the Quantico parking lot.

 

***

                                                                                     

 


End file.
